English Mama stuck in a rut

[stellasmama]

Hello again, I wont continue on the thread I had earlier because now it seems I have a new issue. What do you do when your child seems to want to go back to the old ways all of a sudden. I read in the tips section that this can happen. How far should I back off though?
She woke several times last night her 8th night since we started and I feel like maybe I need to make space between the the påminnelse longer apart or take them away completely because it feels like she's leaning on my jingle now to fall asleep. Does she still need a direct answer every time she continues to peep then cry now? How do I get us out of this rut?
Also, we plan on taking back our bed tonight since we've been sleeping on the floor/sofa since we started and we have to do it eventually. Maybe she needs just this to get her unstuck out of this routine we've found ourselves in?

[annawahlgren]

Kära du, det är ingen bra idé att flytta in och störa henne nu innan nattsömnen sitter. Det skulle bara förvirra henne (ytterligare). Jag tycker ni kan bjuda på att ge henne kuren, hel och komplett, tills den verkligen är genomförd. Jämfört med alla de månader ni inte fått sova särskilt bra, eller alls, är det väl inte för mycket begärt att ger detta den tid det tar utan att tycka synd om er som inte får sova i er egen säng Alternativet är ju att flytta ut barnet. Överväg det i stället. Det finns säkert ett hörn ni kan skärma av med (luftgenomsläppligt) mörkläggningstyg i en skena från golv till tak. Ni måste lära er låta barnet vara i fred.

Och så ska jag ändå be dig att hålla dig till samma tråd när det gäller samma barn och samma ämne - SHN-kuren. Nu minns jag bakgrunden ändå, men det är ren tur

Nej, hon behöver ingen bekräftelseramsa längre. Sista påminnelseramsan, under vilken hon ju tystnar, drar du bara ihop med bekräftelsen, så att rösten mjuknar och bekräftar på slutet, innan du sätter klar punkt. Gnölar hon lite efter det är det ingenting du ska bry dig om. Det är inte alltid vi somnar så fort som vi skulle vilja. Hon vet vad som gäller nu. Håll koll på vargen genom att göra andra lugna ljud i huset, ljud som inte har ett dugg med henne att göra.

Lite mera tålamod, tack
Mer förtroende för lilla barnet
Och fortsätt göra "baksteg". Bara så kan lilla barnet (fortsätta) göra framsteg. Men ledningen är hela tiden er, inte hennes.

[stellasmama]

How many påminnelse ramsar does she need at this stage? It feels like they are all påminnelse ramsar lately.
When she wakes in the night and peeps do I give just 1 påminnelse and then leave it? That's what I do for her naps and that seems to work for her.

I just have to add that I only write for encouragement and only that. I didn't expect that writing a new thread would be a problem. I DO respect my childs need for sleep and have since she was born. In a perfect world we would have a seperate room for her. We barely have enough walking space let alone give her a "corner" to herself. It is the way it is because it is the way it is here. We wouldn't have traveled across the world when she was 4 months old to visit my family and push her learning to sleep as far as it has gone. I blame myself for her not being able to sleep at night and I wouldn't be writing here if I didn't believe this could work because it seems the gentlest approach to teaching a child to sleep on their own. And if this process was crystal clear then there wouldn't be a need for a forum for asking questions. My Swedish isn't perfect and there is a lot of words in the sections of help that I do not find clear. Therefor I ask what I am doing wrong because when I see that we have stopped in the forward progress I feel the need to question if I am doing things right.
I do not feel pepped now, I feel discouraged and if this is going to work for us I need to feel strong and encouraged. Right now we failed the 1st nap of the day by 15 minutes short. And I feel it IS my fault and not hers.

So now, I ask for help in the right direction and not to be felt otherwise more of a failure.
Kindest of thoughts only.
Stellasmama

[annawahlgren]

I am terribly sorry if I hurt your feelings I'm afraid I don't understand how, and why, though

Of course your are most welcome here, and not so to feel bad but to feel good, encouraged and guided. This is what these fora are for.

We do the best we can to help and support.

[stellasmama]

Thank you, I was feeling very low after our bad night. I read that this can happen that the child will try one night of going back to life as it was before and I didn't understand exactly in the information given how to react to her when she's doing that. I felt like I got more of a scolding than assistance at the time. I was very sad after her bad night and took it personally and felt it was my fault she tried going back to her old ways. I was already in a bad place when I wrote so I would have taken anything the wrong way I suppose. But I do appreciate your appology and I hope that tonight is better. I put her to bed with one difinitive ramsa and left her to fuss. Confident she would take my intention I knew she would fall asleep. After a few moments she did. I think she gets it that I wont allow it to go back to the way it was before and I hope I did it right. I will continue to be more assertive with her and cut short the reminders.

Thanks again

[Nancy]

Right now we failed the 1st nap of the day by 15 minutes short. And I feel it IS my fault and not hers.

I would say i´ts neither her OR your "fault". Please don´t feel guilty over 15 minutes of sleep Save your energy for other things instead. You are only in the beginning of your scedule. We have had a scedule for our daughter for 7 months now (even if we changed it since Leia got older). Not many days has she slept EXACTLY the right amount of minutes every time. The trick is that after a while you learn how to handle it

You´ll also be able to see if you have to make any changes in your routine (and wise enough to know when NOT to make changes ).

The best of luck

[stellasmama]

Thank you Nancy! that's exactly what I needed to hear! good to know I'm not the only one!