GNS cure for the second time

[jazzlithi]

Hi everyone, I haven´t been here in long time, because I didn´t need to, my 3 and half year old son sleeps all night since we finished the cure succesfully .. there is no problem with him. He even has a little sister who is now 10 months and right now I am in process of rereading the bookand arranging it for the cure again. When she was born I was trying to follow the advice in FTLOC book and she was sleeping really well. But then the teething started, I was afreaid she will wake up her older brother, she got cold, we were travellin a lot during the summer etc. .. and here we are, breastfeeding all night We are both sooo tired, she is whiney all day, before she was the happiest child ever. so we need to cure her sleep, it´s an emergency now.
I just have some worries about it. First she is a back sleeper. From the very beggining when I put her on her belly, she started to be very active, on her back, she started to fall asleep. Do you have any experience with buffing on babies on their back? I tried couple times without a big succes. Or should I force her on her belly over big protests? Will she learn?
Do you think I should cure her in her brother´s room? I remember when we did the cure before that the biggest problem was the early morning hours. If it´s the same now, I am afraid she will wake her brother and neither one of them will manage to fall asleep again. So I was thinking to cure her in our bedroom and once the cure is working just fine, move them together ..
My biggest worry is the day time sleep. She used to sleep in a carriege on the balcony, I would just put her there on her back and go away, she would fall asleep. It´s not possible now, since the teething period, she sees the carriege and starts to cry hystericaly. I tried to convince her, I tried to rock the carriege to calm her down, but the result was even more hysteria. Since the summer she got used to falling asleep on my belly, then I put her to her bed, if she wakes up before her time to wake up, I carry her more on my belly so she sleep longer. I know it´s not ideal but that´s how it works now. And I have no idea what to do about it with the cure. I am afraid to put her to bed that she will wake up sooner and if I lift her up I will let the wolfs in her bedroom and influence the night. She doesn´t tolerate the carriege .. do you have any advice or maybe similar experience?
Thank you so much for any suggestion, I feel a little nervous about the cure but I know it will work, we were succesful once, why shoudn´t we be for the second time .. have a great day!
Anna

[Sarisparis]

Hi and welcome back

Great to hear that your son is still enjoying his sleep and that he has now a baby sister! Or, should I say a little sister, she’s not a baby anymore.

So, according to what you tell us, it’s indeed getting urgent to get back to good habits. This lack of sleep is exhausting for all of you. I will quickly comment the issues you raise in your post:

Backsleeper
As I said, she’s not a baby no longer and hence perfectly capable of choosing her own position to sleep. You need to find a way to calm her in the bed at the beginning of the cure. As she’s now a rather big girl, I would consider not buffing her as you would with a baby, but using a variant of the sunfeather. That is helping her to calm down in her bed, in a position where she’s confortable.

Carriage
As changes are needed in general, I’d think of simply abandoning the carriage. She will continue to grow and you would probably not have used the carriage for long anyway. So, I’d suggest to let her sleep in a crib also for the daynaps.

Where to do the cure
As the cure can be quite noisy at first, I share your opinion of doing the cure with the two kids in separate bedrooms. Once things are back to normal you can let her move in with her brother.

So, that was some thoughts on your situation. But most important is that you re-read the GNS-book thoroughly. Especially chapters
The Safari,
Peace,
Security,
Enjoyment

Co-read with your husband, it’s important that you’re on the same train once the whistle blow.

Once you are not only really motivated to do something about your familys lack of sleep, but also sincerely convinced about what you're up to, then you are ready to start the cure.

Good luck

[jazzlithi]

Hello,
thank you for your quick response, it made me think about the issues from a different point of view and find the solution. We are on the day two now and it´s gooing really well. We are all confident it will work just fine.
To calm her, we had to do buffing for couple times at the beggining, fanning wasn´t enough since I used it before, practicaly since she was born, but with a pacifier and on her back. So she was confused without a pacifier and we decided we need to make it different all the way. So we buff or fann on her belly, she reacts really quicky to fanning now, then we exit with jingle, she usually swares, then calm down and falls asleep, when we go to check on her she is always on her back. So it works just fine to calm her on her belly, she find her position then herself.
As for the day sleep, I decided to put her to carriage on balcony as I did when she was little. The crib is problematic because I am afraid she would wake up her brother if she woke up before her time. But yesterday she cried a lot but with rocking she calmed down and slept for two hours with one short rocking. Which is amazing. We will see how it goes. The crib will come in place soon, but the cure has to be already in place.
Tonight is my turn, wish me luck I have been camping with my older son in the living room for two night and we had a lot of fun. Thank you for this forum and all the motivation you give us. Have a good day!
Anna

[jazzlithi]

Hello,
just want to say that so far so good, we are in the middle of the follow up week and it´s going quite well. She is falling asleep by herself, she is calm, no need to remind her anything. During the night she cries a bit sometimes, but she is perfectly capable of calming herself down. The only think that concerns me is the early morning hour. I know it can take a while to settle, with our son it took several weeks. But every morning we have a crisis. A real crisis, I can hear there is no way she could calm herself. I give her a lot of space, I let her express herself, I don´t go in unless it´s really neccessary, but it´s neccessary every morning. Sometimes she manages to fall back asleep, sometimes she doesn´t, either was there is never a happy reunion in the morning. She is always almost hysterical when she sees us, she starts shaking and crying and she doesn´t calm down untill she gets to my breast. Do you have any suggestion? I cannot think about anything I could do differently, I am ready to wait, it will hopefully settle soon. During the day she is also really whiny, she tries to get to my breasts all the time. I have the feeling that´s the morning hysteria that upsets her ..
Thank you for your insight and have a great day!
Anna

[jazzlithi]

Hi,
just another morning with a sad and anxious little girl .. we can´t manage a happy reunion she woke up at 6, I jingled right away, she calmed down, then she started to cry a lot, I went in, gave her the message, left with jingle, after ten minutes and three jingles she calmed down and fell asleep. At 7 I woke her up and she started shaking and crying right away, it looked like she was in so much stress ... it makes me feel so sad. But I don´t know why, I think she reacts so well to the jingle, also at night. During the day she doesn´t get an inch from me, she doesn´t want to be with anyone else, when I go to a different room she starts crying and looking for me. I can´t help the feeling I am doing some kind of damage to her, some kind of deprivation .. but we laugh a lot, hug, kiss, I give her all my love, she has all the participation she is supposed to have. Hopefully it will pass soon, it´s been only a week since we started the cure!
Thank you for any ideas ..
Anna

[TorsMamma]

Hi

I must say you are doing a great job! =D>

So now you have one last wolf to shoot

The one that is convinced that she is scared in the morning and HAS to have the breast to calm down. You job is to ensure her that waking up in the morning is her birthday - every day!

Does that mean to come up she has to be this way? Small children do what we teach them so now lets teach her that life sure is good all the time. Even with out the breast you can sit close, read books, and do other things then breastfeeding. That is food

So only give her the breast in adjunction to a meal not as comfort, then the breast means comfort. So comfort and closeness will need to be met differently from now on. And don't feel sorry for her then that means it is surely a sad day.

Keep her busy with social participation, right away in the morning making breakfast, then eat, then breastfeed right after that. Then a workout and more social participation and a nap. Be happy and have a picture in your mind that you have the happiest and luckiest girl in the world and she will turn into just that!

Keep up the good work

[jazzlithi]

Thank you! I never thought about it that way, I have always given her my breasts only when it was time to eat during the day, never as a comfort, and it didn´t occure to me that since she breastfed all the night, it is the comfort for her! Tonight she slept all night with a short interruption around 2, we had to wake her up at 7, and she was perplexed but no hysteria, no shaking, no crying. We cuddled for a while, laughed, and then I gave her the breast, after like 10 minutes of happy reunion. And she is much calmer today (and so am I of course When the follow up week is over I will change the schedule so she gets her milk after the real meal. Thank you again

[TorsMamma]

=D>

[jazzlithi]

Please I need help .. night is going really well ,there is noproblem with that. But about the day nap. Sleeping in the carriage was no longer managable, she needs to move, she cries fter 30 minutes and not even rocking calms her down. So I decided to cure her day time nap so she could sleep in the crib. i started last thursday, today is day 5, but it´s going terribly I know it´s us, we have experimented with the day time nap a lot so it will take a while untill she find her security, but i am thinking how long it can take? Falling asleep is going so so, she cries quite a lot but she manages to fall asleep with jingls, after 10 - 15minutes. but then she wakes up after 20, 30 or 60 minutes and going back to sleep is so difficult. First she tries, she calms down easily, then after some time she works herself up and she is hysterical. She sits or stands, she usually doesn´t manage to fall back to sleep. I try to go in as little as possible, I go in to calm her down when she doesn´t react to the jingle, which she usually does. After some time she just sits there in the bed, sometimes crying, and wait for me to pick her up, really unhappily. What should I do, it´s not getting better, her sleep is not calmer, she is not able to fall back to sleep ... how long can it take to settle down? Thank you ..

[jazzlithi]

Just to be complete, her schedule is:
6,30 wake up and milk
7,30 breakfast
9 to 9,45 nap in the carriage
9,45 milk
11,30 lunch
12,30 to 14,30 nap in crib
14,30 milk
15,30 snack
18,00 dinner
18,30 milk
19 bed

thank you ..

[jazzlithi]

So today she started crying from the firt moment she saw the crib ..

[jazzlithi]

So today she started crying from the firt moment she saw the crib .. what am i doing wrong? She learned reaction to the jingle is hysteria not calming down. Why? How do i change it? I was super confident from the beggining, it works perfectly at night so why not during the day? Every day its getting worse .. today i buffed her to sleep and left without jingle

[TorsMamma]

Dear Jazzlithi,

So first my thoughts about the schedule.

There are too many meals on it.

I am guessing that milk is breastfeeding. This needs to be adjacent to the meal it self. So perhaps this would be better...

6,30 wake up and milk
7,30 breakfast
9 to 9,45 nap in the carriage
11,30 lunch and milk within 45 min for the whole meal End the 45 min with some banana (good for sleep)
20 min of laughter before bed.
13,00 to 15,00 nap in crib
15,30 snack and milk
18,00 dinner
18,30 milk
20 min of laughter before bed
19 bed

So as you can se I postpone the nap with 30 min you can put it 30 min earlier when you go down to 1 nap later.

She also needs to be laughing for at least 15 to 20 min before going to bed, day as night. Then put her to bed by flying into the bedroom fun all the way into the bed. Already dark room and no lights on. NO winding down or introducing the bed. It is the best place in the world and this is what you need to tell her and yourself.

In, down, and OUT! No more than 30 sec is needed. THEN you work with the jingle. If she gets really sad you enter and sunfeather until CALM. Leave the room with the softest of jingles always X4. You need the last word in this. And a happy one!